Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
