we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
