there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
