when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
