I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
