Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
