I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize