His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no. you can't hotbox the world.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
