so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize