Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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