Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
