i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
