she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
