It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
