And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
