Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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