Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
