she looked like the before picture.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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