Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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