Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize