I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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