But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
