who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
