So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I wear drunk well.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
