Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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