Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
