Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
