I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
