Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
