Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
