Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
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Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
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Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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