And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
