umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
