she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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