thus making me awesome and them whores
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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