I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
