We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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