The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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