So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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