the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
There are leaves in my underwear?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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