It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
