She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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