What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
