Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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