whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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