Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
