Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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