i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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