why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
