Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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