too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
