but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize