Buhtt sex?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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