We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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