There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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