it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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