5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
