i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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