If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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