Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
